Men at risk
Women may be at risk of catching a serious STD from husbands or steady partners who are bisexual, many of whom are very secretive about their homosexual activities. Some men deny their bisexuality, thinking that an occasional homosexual episode doesn’t count. Such encounters are potentially at high risk for STD.
If you suspect that your partner may be bisexual you must protect yourself by asking him about it, hoping that he’ll answer your questions truthfully. The same applies if you think your partner could be having sex with other women, and to partners who inject drugs and share injecting equipment.
Safer sex
These days we are plied with information about safer sex and how to avoid STD. Can sex ever be safe? I hope so! If you and your partner believe that you both carry minimal risk, the way should be reasonably clear.
On a recent plane trip I read an article called ‘Travel Safe’ in the airline magazine. It was about avoiding STD, and advised that everybody should use condoms for all sex when away from home. I thought this statement was rather ambiguous. Did it really mean all sex or only casual sex or sex with a new partner? What if you were travelling with your steady partner?
In Sydney I asked some AIDS educators what they thought it meant. They answered: ‘We now recommend condoms for all sex, even between steady partners’. I asked: ‘Should couples who’ve loved, trusted and been faithful to each other for years start using condoms?’. Yes,’ they replied, ‘you can’t trust anyone about matters of life and death such as AIDS.’
This advice seemed absurd to me. How would babies be conceived? And I don’t like to think that you can’t trust anyone, even your nearest and dearest. Perhaps I’m being unrealistic. I admit that you can’t be absolutely sure, but there must be times when a long-term trusting relationship counts for something. Here are the rules for safer sex.
• Ask new partners these questions.
a How many partners have they had? How often were condoms used? Have they had sex overseas, with other men, or injected drugs? If so, have they been tested for STDs, and when?
b Have they ever had any STD? If so, what, when, how did they get it, how was it treated?
с Have they ever had a transfusion of blood or blood products? Not all people who had transfusions in Australia during the risky years (1980-85) have been tested.
• Use condoms. Condoms used properly give good protection against the transfer of infections from semen and vaginal fluids as well as to and from skin of the penis and vagina (and against unwanted pregnancy). They don’t prevent transfer of infections from other parts of the genitals, which may be important for some STDs. But because of this don’t think they’re not worth using. Condoms are good for preventing most of the serious STDs: HIV, hepatitis, gonorrhoea and chlamydia, as well as many others.
Many people use condoms for the first three months of a new relationship. A round of negative STD tests by both partners after this period offers confidence that neither of you carry an infection if you both remain faithful.
• Sexual activities with a high risk of STD that should be avoided include:
a vaginal sex without a condom
b anal sex without a condom between men or between women and men. When the penis penetrates the anus there is a high chance of breaking skin and lining membranes, opening the way in for infection. Anal sex is thought to be about twice as risky as vaginal sex for transmitting HIV
с sex with casual ‘pick-ups’
d changing partners – the more you have, the greater the risk
e sexual intercourse with anyone who has a genital discharge or sore. The latter may not be due to STD (for example, it could be due to injury or some sort of dermatitis) but it’s wise to make sure before taking a chance.
• Avoid contact with anyone else’s genital secretions until you know they’re safe.
You have every right to refuse sex or insist on condoms and other safe sexual practices. Remember that there are many ways that you can both be sexually satisfied (by ‘heavy petting’ and mutual masturbation) without penis-in-vagina intercourse. But though the women’s movement has given many women the confidence to make their own decisions and take initiatives in many matters, there are lots who still find it hard to say ‘No’ to men about sex, suggest alternatives to intercourse, or stand up for their right to protect themselves against STDs. But it’s your responsibility to guard your health.
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