YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/THE MOST OFTEN ASKED QUESTION: WHY CAN’T WE COME TOGETHER?
“Why can’t we come together? We have tried every trick in the book. We never climax together.”
ANSWER: Nobody ever comes together if by that you mean simultaneous pelvic muscle contraction. If it does happen, it is rare and an accident, mere chance and luck. The effort to accomplish this mutual reflex would be like trying to sneeze together. You might be able to do it, but you would wait a long time, and even if you did it, you would wonder why. Trying to have pelvic contractions together only gets in the way of enjoying psychasms together, which is much more satisfying because they are much longer and easier to share. Remember that orgasmic contractions last less than fifteen seconds. It makes little sense to spend most of the sexual encounter to synchronize your fifteen seconds. A super marital sex rule is that where you are going together is much more important than trying to end together. It’s too bad the-word “climax” was ever used. A better word might be to ‘ ‘preamble” together, to start instead of end. You might try using a less motion-oriented vocabulary of “come,” “get,” and “do” in favor of the more experiential terms of “share,” “feel,” and “be.”
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